Wednesday, 9 February 2011

Dither Down

The blind situation grows more desperate by the day. Actually, that's not strictly true. The blind situation actually stays at the same level of desperateness. But that doesn't really sound as good.

The first thing I bought for my flat was a set of blinds so I can keep the sun out and walk naked around my apartment with impunity, etc.

There is a shared ladder in the building, but someone has had it in their apartment for the last couple of weeks. My landlord told me it was a guy in the ground floor who had borrowed it, so I went knocking on his door to ask for it back. Turned out he'd put it back and now someone else has it. Bah.

None the less, he's an interesting guy, and is building a recording studio in his apartment, not a big studio, clearly. To be honest, you'd struggle to get more than one or two instruments in there, but you've got to admire the optimism. Turns out he puts out two or three records every month on his label, Dither Down, and could do with some extra design help, so I might end up working with him.
At this point I should probably point out that no money will be exchanged as my contract forbids me to do any freelance work.

He gave me a record as a gift. I told him I didn't have a turn table. He argued that now I had a reason to buy one.


The kitchen situation improves

Today I finally got around to building a new kitchen unit. Until today I've been making do with around two sq feet of workspace. I've been chopping vegetables in the sink, balancing plates on the drying rack and slicing bread on the cooker top.

Anyway, below is a photo of my new improved kitchen. In order to fit the unit in I had to move my fridge into my front room, but that just means the beer is closer when I'm watching TV.

Frankly, this new setup is win-fucking-win. Why has no one thought of this until now?



Healthcare day

A rather nice tradition of IBNY is to have regular wednesday lunchtime speeches, which are always accompanied by food of some sort.

Today it was the turn of Interbrand Health to discuss the role of brand in healthcare. I'd go into detail on the subject, but I know my audience better than that. I'm well aware that what you guys really want to know, was what kind of food was provided for the healthcare speech.

Pizza.
Obviously.
Frankly, they'd have struggled to find a less healthy food, but who am I to complain?
I'm not here for the irony. It's just a pleasant bonus.

Watching 35 giant pizza boxes being set up is a pretty impressive sight.


And what was the pizza like? 
Was it as delicious as the boxes claim? 

Errm... it was ok at best. Free though.

However, I did manage to discover a new kind of pizza. The one on top is a chicken schnitzel pizza. Battered, fried chicken, which is then chopped up and put on a pizza. Someone needs to tell Scotland about this. They've missed a trick.


Schlep Less


This is not only my first piece of US junkmail. 
I'm also pretty sure it's the first piece of junkmail I've received with a Yiddish headline.


For those who don't get down with Yiddish:


Schlep

  [shlep]  Show IPAverb, schlepped, schlep·ping, noun Slang .
–verb (used with object)
1.
to carry; lug: to schlep an umbrella on a sunny day.
–verb (used without object)
2.
to move slowly, awkwardly, or tediously: We schleppedfrom store to store all day.


(with thanks to dictionary.com)

Monday, 7 February 2011

My apartment arrives pt. 02

A whole bunch more stuff arrived via FedEx today, with only one small breakage (a cup).

Now I have even more things to put away, build and store. Soon it'll be like I have a real home.

Also, I finally got my Social Security number today. So I'm like a real citizen. Now I have this, the next part of my diabolical plan can come into fruition. I can get a credit card! Mu hu hahahaha....

My packages looked a little neater when they left the Uk.


The FedEx van looks cool though. But then I'm biased as I'm rather attached to the logo



Sunday, 6 February 2011

My apartment arrives

Here it is. Delivered late by two of the surliest gentlemen I've ever had to pleasure to meet.

Did I really need to buy an enormous plant? Probably not.

Shall I spend the next few lines of my blog justifying it? Hell no.


This lot will keep me busy for quite a while I'd imagine. For now I'm sleeping on the mattress on the floor. Luckily I also bought a pillow.

London

My supervisor seems like a really decent guy. A massive New Yorker called Joe. Shaking his hand makes me feel like I have lady fingers. He nicely changed the name on my postbox downstairs after I'd moved in.
Unfortunately I think he may have been a little distracted when he wrote down my name.


If he was going for a place, he could have at least put the country of my surname.

I'd change it, but I rather like it. Makes me laugh anyway.

Ikea: Trip #04

Another day, another trip to Ikea.

This time I spent the morning there and thankfully they had everything I wanted. Namely, a bed, some drawers for my clothes, a kitchen unit to prep food and a cheap folding table to eat off.

I can't tell you guys how much I hope I don't have to go back to Ikea again soon. Once the stuff gets delivered I'll be spending most of my free time building it all.

Free time is a rather poor choice of phrase I'm afraid. While Ikea is cheap as chips, when bought in bulk, it certainly adds up. I filled 4 flat bed trollies with all my stuff. I needed two employees just to help me get it to the tills.


Yeah, that's €1119 at Ikea. That's also the 4th time I've been. God knows what the final bill is going to be. It's going to be nice to exist here without having to rinse my savings. Google keeps prompting me to include ads on this blog. Maybe I should try and reclaim my money that way. Or charge rent to those who come and stay with me. I'd sell my body but I'm not sure I'd get much for it. Especially here where things tend to be bought by the pound. I've already have at least 3 people tell me to put on weight.

Hopefully this view of Ikea will be the last time I see it for the foreseeable future.

A Shameless copy #02


VINCENT
You'll dig it the most. But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is? JULES What? VINCENT It's the little differences. A lotta the same shit we got here, they got there, but there they're a little different. JULES Examples?

Does Skins even have the same meaning in the states? It seems a little unlikely. 

Anyone have any other suggestions of Channel 4 shows they can import? Countdown maybe? They'd probably do a really good job of The It Crowd, although it might tread on the toes of The Big Bang Theory.

But who'd win in a fight between Moss vs Sheldon. Only one way to find out! 

Fiiiiiiiiiiight!!!!!




Thanks!

Hi everyone.

Thanks for reading my stream of consciousness. I can't believe how many of you are still reading this. Despite me only giving this link out to around 15 people I've had over 400 hits in the last two weeks.
I still can't quite believe it's only been two weeks since I flew over here.

Anyway, please ignore my earlier message about not being able to post from here. While I won't be able to get my own internet connection until I get my social security number and a credit card (this might take a couple of weeks) some kind and thoughtful individual in an apartment opposite mine has thoughtfully left their wireless connection unlocked. It's not an ideal situation. I have to sit in my windowsill to get a signal, but at least I get a nice view and I can still feel in touch with the world.

So thank you Mr. Linksys router. You've made the next couple of weeks far more pleasant. I sincerely promise not to stream any videos or download any large files on your connection, and the second I can get my own connection I shall do.

Saturday, 5 February 2011

Building and Traffic Lights

Putting it up.

As you may have seen from an earlier post showing picture of my apartment, my kitchen is tiny!

I've moved the fridge into the front room to make more space, but as there are no cupboards my only hope is to put up a lot of hangers and magnetic knife racks to store, what will be, a large amount of kitchen equipment.

So I went out, bought a power drill, some screws, a spirit level, some masonry drill bits and those little plastic dealies that you put the screw into.

I know it doesn't look much, but I'm rather proud of my handiwork. Having never done this before, and also being a clumsy bastard at the best of times, I think I did perfectly acceptable job.

Thank god for Ikea.

All my furniture

So today I bought my first furniture for my new apartment. There is a stunning flea market near me called Brooklyn Flea, where I managed to pick up a bunch of folding chairs that were previously used in a traveling carnival.

As you may have just read, I spent the evening putting up shelves, poles and magnets, so when it came to dinner I decided to use all my furniture to make my dinner as luxurious as possible.

All my furniture being 3 chairs.

I've got my TV chair, my table chair and my chair chair. Next I should probably buy a bed...

Stop Worrying. It'll be alright.

Maybe this is just me, but I can't help thinking that the sockets here are judging me.

Maybe it's the worried look they give me, but I just want to tell them it'll all be ok.

Juniors Diner

Oh it's on!

Fresh from the enormous brisket sandwich served to me by the wonderful Mile End Deli, I arrive at Juniors famous Cheesecake diner and bakery.

Ordered a corned beef sandwich (corned beef over here is what we called Salt Beef. The crap in a can thankfully doesn't exist on these shores).

Personally, once I've got to 15 layers of meat I probably think I've put on enough.
Not these guys. 16 layers in my sandwich.


The problem with this is that I had also ordered a piece of their famous (award winning) cheesecake. This was just delicious. But a tip to all who come here in future (which will be anyone who visits me). 
In future, sharing portions might be a sensible option.


I think I need a Rennie...


Too much choice

There is such a thing as too much choice.

A good case in point is probably Tropicana Orange Juice in the states.

While Tropicana make a whole range of juices, my local market stocks no less than 10 kinds of Tropicana Orange juice.

Want No Pulp? Fine.
Some Pulp? Fine.
Low Acid?
Healthy Kids?
Calcium?
Omega 3?
Orange AND Tangerine?
Antioxidant Advantage?
Lots of Pulp?
Orangeade?

I plumped for Some Pulp, although I dithered over Lots of Pulp. What is a boy to do?

The city that never sleeps

There are lots of reasons why it's called this. The most obvious, and my favourites are that all the bars, diners and subways are open 24/7.

However, it's not just the public face of New York that never sleeps. The photo below was taken around midnight as a team of workmen (there must have been well over 20 guys involved) started work mending a pipeline.

In the UK? Start around 10am, pack up at 5pm. Seeing this makes that kind of thing seem even more annoying and embarrassing.

Last one for a while

Well, I'm about to move out of my company apartment, and into my empty place. Unfortunately in the US everything revolves around credit and social security numbers. So, for example, you can't get a internet connection or mobile phone without a credit card. You can't get a credit card without a Social Security number. I really hope that thing comes through soon. Not having a working mobile phone for two weeks now has been pretty tricky. It's back to the bad old days of having to schedule a time and a place to meet someone, then hoping they'll turn up.

Anyway, I may be able to post from work, but it'll be far less frequent until I get my home internet connection.

See you soon everyone. I promise to blog my apartments transformation from empty shell to Ikea show home.

Watch this space...

Ikea: Trip #03

Once more into the Ikea. This isn't really how I'd like to spend my friday nights, but I really do need a bed.

The kicker here was that the last time I went to Ikea I was lied to about when the bed will be delivered.
So... no bed.

Back I go on Sunday. When the bed will be there! At least, I certainly hope so.

At least I get the pleasure of riding the water taxi there, and the Ikea minibus back. Ikea vehicles fit into the New York landscape pretty well with their canary yellow paintwork.




Thursday, 3 February 2011

Don't Mess With My Building Superintendent

He don't play!

Brisket on Rye

Don't you just love it when the filling makes a mockery of the bread?



I'm not going to lie. This was fairly hard to eat. (Mile End Deli again)

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Bed, Bath & Burrito

Bed, Bath & Beyond is an enormous store near work that sells all manner of household goods. It's pretty spectacular inside. As well as hugely confusing and with so much choice that choosing anything becomes a chore in itself (this seems to be a recurring theme in the states).

The reason I mention it is not because of it's fantastic selection of shower curtains (although... daaammmnnn!!!!) but because it proves another point.

The point being that American's (or at least, New Yorkers) value good food over everything else. It seems that every decent sized store has it's own cafe area. And 99 times out of 100, those cafe areas are head and shoulders over the most dedicated food places the UK has to offer.

The Bed, Bath and Beyond cafe offers up a dazzling array of goodies. Freshly made Burritos, pizza's, potatoes, salads, wraps and sandwiches. Nothing prepackaged. If people think Pret, Leon, etc do great food in the UK, then they're in for a rude, if tasty, awakening.

Ikea: Trip #02

Back again at Ikea on a freezing wednesday night to pick up things for the kitchen. While Ikea delivers, they only deliver large objects and refuse to send anything you can carry yourself. Even if you have more than you can carry. Hence, the many trips.

The one great thing about Ikea NY is that the primary way to access it is via a water taxi (this would be a boat to everyone outside of Manhattan).

Twice an hour it chugs across the Hudson delivering weary New Yorkers into Ikeas loving arms.

While being in Ikea until 10pm isn't exactly what i'd call fun. It's what I need to do, and it's certainly memorable.



Fat Taxis

People who've been here a before, maybe a few years ago. At least 6 years ago, when I was last here, may remember New York taxi's as scores and scores of identical yellow lincolns.

Not anymore in an effort to be more environmentally friendly, a greater variety of vehicles can now be painted the famous yellow colour. This means we get Prius taxis and Nissan taxis. My favourite however, has to be this bad boy. I'm not entirely sure how this is better for the environment than your classic NY cab.

Sure is roomy though.

Mist

Sunday, 30 January 2011

Skype

Thank heavens for Skype!

During my occasional bouts of home sickness, being able to not only talk to, but see my family and friends has kept me sane.

Also, if any of you has an iPhone, get Viber. It's free and integrates with your contacts book. It allows you to make free calls to anyone else with the iPhone-Viber combo over wifi or 3G. The quality of the wifi call was as good as, if not slightly better than my normal call quality, and you don't even need to have to app on for someone to ring you (much to Karl's surprise today). Get it. We'll talk.

This is my grandma and mum via the magical power of Skype.

True Grit

Went out to the cinema today to finally get to see True Grit (which, in case you haven't seen it yet, is brilliant. Run, don't walk...)

American cinemas are nearly exactly like UK ones. Slightly cheaper than London, with much better seats (All leather. All recline. The comfiest thing I've sat on since... well, maybe that story is for another day).

The food, as always, draws my attention. American menus seem to have to put the calorie content of the dishes, or at very least, fast food dishes by law. Which means you get boards like this:


Special mention should be given to #4 Movie Nachos Combo in the bottom left corner. This drink and nachos combo can provide up to an impressive 2410 calories, or more calories than a grown woman should consume in a day.

It's probably also worth pointing out that just adding extra cheese to your nachos adds an additional 720 calories, which is more than I'd probably have in an average dinner. Fine work indeed.

(If you're wondering, I went for a hotdog and a bottle of water. Neither of which was worth committing to memory card)


The only food you can get in the cinema which doesn't come with a calorie warning comes from this pump.


Can you guess what it is yet? 

For those who have yet to discover its delights, this is a molten butter dispenser. So say you've bought your popcorn, nachos, hotdog, coke and it's not quite buttery enough for you. A quick push of the Topping button will dispense a torrent of buttery goodness. 

To quote Homer; "Mmm... fattening" 

Time Square

Did my tourist duty by visiting Time Square this evening. It's pretty much just as I remember it. Which is to say really really bright. I think there may be even more screens there now. It's pretty astonishing. Even at night it feels like you're getting a tan by just being there.

A Shameless copy

Do you remember the second scene in Pulp Fiction?
Jules and Vincent are sat in a car on the way to pick up the brief case. Jules has just got back from Amsterdam.
VINCENT
You'll dig it the most. But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is? JULES What? VINCENT It's the little differences. A lotta the same shit we got here, they got there, but there they're a little different. JULES Examples?

William H. Macy as Frank Gallagher? 

I'll believe it when I see it.

Missing

This isn't really a New York post. Not in the way that is directly about New York.
It doesn't have any pictures of food, or buildings where food is served.
Nor does it have occasionally humorous observations about the strangeness of NY from a UK perspective.

It is New York, in that it affects me, who is here. In New York.

I miss Anne.

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